My Husband Finds Jesus

You know how you can want something for someone so badly, but it's not possible for you to give it to them? That's how I felt when I thought about my husband and Jesus. He believed in a "God", but nothing else. Didn't believe in Jesus. Didn't believe in the Bible. I wanted so badly for him to come to Christ, but he needed to get there his own way.
One day I asked him what exactly he didn't believe about Jesus. Did he not believe a man existed named Jesus? Did he not believe Jesus could perform miracles? Did he not believe he rose from the grave? I thought maybe I could tackle his doubts one by one.
When he started thinking about it in those terms, he got a little thoughtful and said he'd get back to me. Boy did he! He came back to me a few days later and blew me away when he said he believed. He had researched Jesus, in his own way, and thought about it, and he believed! Yeh, that feather could've knocked me over!
My husband told me that he not only believed in Jesus, he wanted to be baptized. He had so many questions, too. Good questions. Well thought-out questions. Mostly, I didn't have the answers. I'd just taken my own first few steps, remember? Maybe we'll never have all the answers, but we have the most important one: Jesus is our savior. And every week, every day, that goes by, we learn more and more. And it's good.
And, as we both found out, Jesus is patient, and definitely works in mysterious ways.
That's the way it is, when you walk with Jesus.
You know something else we found out? When you take that walk with someone you love, it's ... well... indescribable.
Take the walk. It's so good.

Reaching Out To Jesus

So now that I knew I needed Jesus to save me, I had to pray for it. It wasn't difficult. And, yet, it was the most important prayer I ever prayed. The words, themselves, weren't important, but the message was everything. I told Him that I knew I was a sinner, that I needed His Grace to save me. I thanked Him for dying on the cross, that I might live eternally with Him in Heaven. I told Jesus that I accepted Him as my Savior and asked for guidance that I might grow closer to Him.

All this while still recovering from that aneurysm. And, in that time that started out so distressful, so full of anxiety; I was now calm, happy and no longer waiting for that other shoe to drop.

I had taken my first step. . . towards Jesus . . . who had been there all along with his arms outstretched, waiting for me.

Next step: Helping my husband find the peace I have found. Helping him find Jesus.

A Beginner's Walk With Jesus (My first step)

Ok, I’m new to all of this. Blogging, trusting in Jesus. All of it. But, here it goes anyway..... Maybe you’ll want to learn to walk with me.

When did I discover that I wasn’t going to get into Heaven on my own good works? After almost dying. How tragic would that have been? Not my dying, exactly. But the fact that I hadn’t accepted Jesus as my savior and the only way into Heaven yet. I believed that Jesus existed. That he was God. But I also believed that if I was a good girl and did more good than bad, then I would get to Heaven on my own merits. I look back now and wonder how I ever missed the message... That I am a sinner who cannot make it to Heaven on my own. I needed to accept that Jesus, the perfect lamb, died on the cross for my sins, and by believing in that, I am worthy to go to Heaven and live with my Savior.

So, let me back up and take that walk with you. . .

There I was, recovering from a ruptured brain aneurysm that the doctors all agreed should have killed me. And I was wondering, why didn’t it? Why was I still alive? I felt with an absolute certainty that God had saved me for a reason, but I sure didn’t know what it could have been. I was confused, scared, and had so much anxiety that I needed anti-anxiety medication for a long time. My doctors kept insisting that I was a "miracle patient", having survived the ruptured aneurysm the way I did. So I started thinking more and more about God, and during that time I picked up the "Left Behind" books. It was like my eyes were opening for the first time. I finally understood what had eluded me my entire life. I am a sinner. We all are. But the Lord loves me anyway. You, too. And he wants a relationship with us. Here and in Heaven. But, being sinners, we aren’t worthy of Heaven. So there was the dilemma. God loves us and wants us in Heaven. We love him and want to go to Heaven. But we sin. Sinners weren’t worthy of Heaven. So the Lord sent his son to Earth to live among us and to die for us -- untouched by sin. Never having sinned. Not once. But he took on the sins of the world. Yours, mine, everyone’s. And he died with the weight of those sins on him. The perfect sacrifice. That anyone who believed in him and believed that he paid the price for our sins, would be welcome in Heaven. For God so loved the world. . . yes, I finally got it.

And here I am ready to start that walk with Jesus, my Savior. Thankful. Scared. Imperfect. But loved by a God who is merciful and patient.

And, somewhere in all of this learning, I realized my anxiety is gone. I no longer fear death. And, let me tell you right here.... no one -- no one ever feared death as much as I used to. Now, I know when I die, I am going to Heaven to live with Jesus and the Father. And I look forward to the day I can say "thank you". Thank you, Jesus, for dying for my sins. Thank you, Father, for loving me. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for rescuing me and pointing me in the right direction. Thank you for giving me the chance to tell my story, and to take this walk. Walk with me. Let’s learn together.